WE DID IT!

MY FAVORITE HOCKEY TEAM DID IT!  WORLD CHAMPS BABY!

I am so happy right now, best day of my life.

penguins

 

Eh, who am I kidding, who gives a flying f*ck?  Hockey sucks.

Below are the only two good things about hockey:

Mighty Ducks 1-3

Ice Girls

ice girls1



It’s our fault for the bad behavior or professional athletes, not theirs.

explosion-finger

You read that right. It’s your fault. It’s my fault. It’s not the athlete’s fault.

In the last few years, it seems like the trouble that professional athletes have caused has exploded exponentially: countless DUI’s, guys getting tazed, shot, in high speed chases, and caught involved in drugs. Can’t forget about Michael Vick. And I even think I heard something about steroids in baseball the other day.

But honestly, what do you expect? These guys are ticking time bombs that we build from the moment we see talent.

From middle school, these guys are patted on the back and told how great they are and of how great they could be. In high school, they begin to get publicized in the school newspaper, hometown paper, and maybe in the big newspapers around the state. Everything they read and are told is supportive, yet adds volatility; another solder joint in the bomb. After reading about how tremendous he is, the athlete begins to believe it. Why wouldn’t he? At 17, when popularity is the only form of self-assessment, it’s easy to accept that you’re super-human.

Then come the awards. And the scholarship offers. Keep packing on the plutonium. Colleges then give out “free jobs.” The jobs that athletes don’t have to show up to, yet still receive paychecks and no one says a word. Agents and scouts, the guys who pick out talent for a living, start sending illegitimate gift packages while the athlete is still in school. Wrap that plutonium in C4.

Now set the charge by adding national media attention and praise as if he’s the second coming of Jordan, Sayers, and Ruth all rolled into one.

All the necessary elements for an incendiary device are accounted for. Now all you have to do is hand them the detonator and wait for the fireworks. Except this time, the detonator is not a little red button. It’s a lot of green Benjamin Franklins, and a fat bank account.

With the kind of money (i.e. perception of power) that a professional athlete is given, an implosion upon himself is near impossible to avoid. It’s a wonder that it doesn’t happen more often.

They can’t help it. That’s the bomb we built them to be.

Big Weekend

 

great sports weekend

great sports weekend

 

  • We got Manny Pacquiao fighting Ricky Hatton in what is being billed as the fight of the year.  However, it is only on PPV ($49.99).  And people wonder why boxing sucks and nobody watches it.  Name another sport that secludes itself from its viewers like this…  I’m picking Hatton in the 8th by knockout.

 

  • Also, in the NHL, Crosby and Ovechkin are going head to head in the playoffs.  I’m not a hockey fan, but if I happen to come across this game on TV I will probably watch a little bit of it.  I think I’m going to say Ovechkin is my favorite hockey player of all time (other than Brent Fuller) and Crosby is a whiny bitch.  There are other NHL games going on, but really, who gives a shit?  Ovechkin and company will win this series.

 

  • The Kentucky Derby.  The most exciting 2 minutes in sports, and a close second, The Kid having sex on his honeymoon.  You gotta love the Derby.  All eyes on Kentucky.  I am going with the Trifecta of Friesan Fire, PioneeroftheNile, and Chocolate Candy.  Winner Winner Chicken Dinner.  Also, just saw that the favorite, I Want Revenge, has been scratched from the race.

 

  • Major League Baseball is in full swing.  We got a full slate of games on, should be fun.

 

  • NBA playoffs have 2 game 7’s this weekend.  Bulls @ Celtics and Heat @ Hawks.  The Bulls/Celtics series has been sick.  I’m not biggest NBA fan, but I do like watching some of the playoffs, especially when the games are like these.  Also, the Mavs and Nuggets get the second round started on Sunday.  I’m picking the Bulls and Hawks to move onto the second round.  

 

  • Also, the EPL (English Premier League) plays this weekend. Manchester United has already played this morning, and they beat Middlesbrough 2-0.  Man U is atop the leaderboard through 34 games in the EPL.

 

  • Tiger is trying to win a golf tournament at Quail Hollow.  He is one shot behind the leaders heading into Saturday.

 

I’m sure there is other shit going on, but I believe I covered the most important.  I’m sure there is NASCAR this weekend, College Baseball, MLS games, and NFL mini-camps.  So basically there is plenty to watch/track on the Internet this weekend while it rains outside.

“Grapes” Cherry

Let me start by saying, “I do not enjoy hockey.”  Is there even an off-season?  It is ridiculous how much coverage the NHL gets on ESPN.  That many people can’t watch it.  Other than the northern United States, Canada, and Russia (Canada and Russia don’t really count), who cares about it?  ESPN never covers soccer/futbol and it is only the 2nd most popular sport world wide behind golf.  Even though I do hate most things about hockey, there are 3 things that make it somewhat watchable.

The first thing are the fights/big hits.  Hands down the best parts about hockey, no questions asked.

The second best thing about hockey are the careers of Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby.  I will admit, I will watch highlights of them both on ESPN.  They are both studs and I am older than both of them (along with Lebron, Evan Longoria, Adrian Peterson, and tons of other beast ass athletes born after 1984.) which makes me feel like a complete waste of life.

The third and last thing that is good about hockey is getting a chance to see Don “Grapes” Cherry and his wardrobe.  He is a former player and coach, but now he is a commentator for CBC Television in Canada and he does a little bit for ESPN.  In case you have never seen what he wears, you will enjoy the gallery of pictures.

and I’m not 100% sure, but I think the NHL season starts sometime this week, but who cares…

NO BODY HAS ANYTHING ON HIM!  I LOVE THIS MAN!

tidbit- In most, if not all of these pictures he has a rose on his lapel.  It’s in memory of his wife who died from cancer in 1997.  Ever since then he always wears a rose on his lapel.  Her name was Rose.