HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The entire staff of RocktheWristband would like to wish you a Happy Halloween!  Of course, Halloween is becoming a dying holiday…Why is every school banning Halloween costume parties?!?

I’ll brighten everyone’s spirits up. Here’s some pics of my Notre Dame Pumpkin I carved. (The Alabama ‘A’ is my girlfriend’s).

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Don’t Drop the Soap

OOPS!

OOPS!

Just ran across this story… pretty funny, and a good idea for a class project.

Is it wrong to drop your pants to prove a point?

Supposedly, Mike Singletary dropped his pants during halftime this past Sunday to prove a point.  The point being his team was getting their asses kicked.  My question is: do you find it wrong to drop your pants if you are trying to make a point?

My answer is no.  My buddies and I drop our pants all the time to prove a point.  That point being that we suck at beer pong and the other team is owning us, or to prove to our girlfriends that an inch and a half is black man-esque…..compared to The Hustle.

Adam Morrison cuts his hair

via the Charlotte Observer

I don’t know what I think about the new ‘do.  Sure, he can probably actually pull in some tail with the new haircut, but it’s just not Adam Morrison.  I am going to miss the gorgeous, brown locks in need of some Prell.  His teammate, Jared Dudley, said he looks like Jim Carrey in The Cable Guy.  I still think he is a mix of Ron Jeremy and the tall scary guy from Happy Gilmore.

As a fellow member of the Punch Yourself in the Head, and Can’t Grow a Mustache Club, it’s about time he took a Bic to that scraggly piece of cunt hair he has above his lip.  If you read the article, NBA waste Sean May seems to agree.  I am hoping that the new hair enables him to finally produce on the floor at an NBA level.  Since my former man crush, JJ Redick, isn’t doing a damn thing, it would be nice to see Adam do something.  That might be kinda tough being the 11th or 12th man in the rotation, but I wish him luck.

Man, I miss the good ol’ days

Peter Man – – Morrison Dunking at the apt. – – homebody

Why don’t you know who Ivon Gaete is?

Basically, she’s the most underused asset ESPN has. She first came to the world’s attention as a huge distraction to coaches and little boys alike during the Little League World Series as a sideline reporter. Evidently, she’s the queen of baseball in Venezuela. Either way, I’m guessing she’s ready to step up to the plate for some real American wood.

Aren’t you guys glad I’m back?

New Guitar Hero commercial…..

Wow! I feel like going on a long pointless rant right now like Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs. Yeah, the new Guitar Hero commercial has a cool feel to it; Kobe Bryant, Alex Rodriguez, Michael Phelps, and Tony Hawk going Risky Business (or Saved by the Bell for all you Zack and AC fans) and rocking out to Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll.” I love the Tony Hawk selection, but seriously, could the writers not find any athletes with at least SOME personality? Sure, Kobe, A-Rod, and Michael Phelps are dominant in their respective sport…..or swimming, but I honestly think they have to be the most boring group of superstars on the face of the Earth.

A-Rod sits at home texting Pete Rose and analyzing his swing, while manscaping his frosted tips. Kobe Bryant runs around town trying his damndest to be like MJ, but ends up just raping bitches in the meantime. And let’s be real, do you think Kobe has ever heard this song before? If you were to say “Seger” to Kobe, he would punch you in the face for making a racial slur. And Michael Phelps…..seriously? I think I am cooler than this mother fucker. I think he was on the first season of this show. You know this guy just sits at home all day on his Mac, either playing World of Warcraft or subscribing to the gold package on Vagtastic Voyage.

This commercial had the potential to be one of the best on television. I would have partnered up Mr. Hawk with Peyton Manning, LeBron James, and Ryan Howard. At least Peyton and King James know how to be funny. Get your shit together Guitar Hero, before I rock out with Josh Hamilton to Jars of Clay and Third Day in Guitar Praise!!

P.S. It’s not like I want to see his adulterous, big black man wiener flopping around or anything, but why did Kobe wear basketball shorts and everyone else was in their boxers? Seems like he is hogging more balls than the 45 he jacks up during every game.

The Hustle here. I have to defend this commercial from my misguided, mildly retarded friend. Sure, you can get Bron-Bron or Peyton to do this commercial, but why? We’ve already seen them and can imagine them doing a commercial like this. You’re right, these guys have zero personality between them. But that’s what makes them perfect. You would never imagine these guys letting loose enough to make a commercial like this. Mr. Madonna is such a pretentious little bitch that you would never imagine him being able to relax enough to do a commercial where everyone might see how small his junk really is. He was only banging Madonna because next to her bones, his looked average. And Phelps is the definition of dork. He’s now the most well-known athlete in the world and he appeals to the tools who sit at home playing World of Warcraft all day. And Kobe, he has to be so image conscious after raping that girl (she only agreed to the first 8 inches, everything after that was rape), that you couldn’t imagine him being allowed to walk around with half his clothes on. And as far as the shorts go…You can’t fit pure Alabama black snake in those boxers. That’d be a bigger wardrobe malfunction than Janet and Justin.

The only way this commercial gets any better is if you substitute Shaq for Kobe and change the song to “Kobe how’s my ass taste?”

Are Josh Elliot and Hannah Storm banging?

Is it just me, or does it always look like Hannah Storm might as well be leaning over in Josh Elliot’s ear whispering, “I’m not wearing any panties,” on every morning SportsCenter? Is Elliot diddling her on the side or what? I’m gonna have to start paying attention to his hand more often to make sure it’s not disappearing underneath the table. But hey, that’s cool. I think he is one of the better guys on the show. No, Dan Patrick or Kenny Mayne, but maybe he eventually breaks out of his shell and does a dopey commercial.

P.S. DO NOT….I repeat….DO NOT do a Google images search for Josh Elliot without safe-search turned on. Go ahead. Try it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you of the horror first.